Well, hello there. How is your Sunday afternoon? Mine is nice and quiet (well, except for Max laying here growling at something he hears outside - he does that when I don't have the TV on).

Things with me are going really well. I am getting used to my new routine - let me share it with you:

6:00 am - wake up
6:30 am - leave for work
7:00 am - arrive at work
7 - 7:45 am - work out
7:45-8:30 - get ready for work (at work)
8:30 am - 5:30 pm - work (see a pattern developing here?)
5:30 - about 6:15 depending on traffic - drive home from work
6:15 to whenever I happen to be able to fall asleep - do chores, watch tv, hang out, etc.

Yes, it is very busy.

I do have good news! I got my insurance cards in the mail today!! I haven't had insurance through my place of employment - well...ever really. I did have it at one place for about 2 months and was never able to use it. I'm very excited to be able to go to the doctor again!

I really wanted to share some pictures with you in this blog - but it seems that my ipad won't let me do that - booo! I decorated my cubicle this week ... I got really creative and I'm so much more comfortable at my desk now!

I'm also offically on Week 3 of Couch to 5K! I'm really happy to be running again - I am also really happy to be focusing on me and my health again - it is really important to pay attention to your health...I wish I had done so sooner.

Wow, I'm so unhappy that I can not share pictures with you. I have to figure out a way before my next post.

Well, have a great week everyone...maybe next time I will have some funny story to report to you ... until then...

The "backwards scissor": A Yoga story

So, I promised a story.

My new workplace has a gym. It's pretty great that I could get out of my monthly gym membership...I've been working out there before work. They also offer a yoga class on Wednesdays at lunch, which I thought was free...I was wrong.

So, I attended 3 classes before discovering that I had to pay. The class itself was good, hard, but good and I liked it. Except the part where my co-workers are there with me. Now, I've never really cared much about people watching me workout. You can judge me all you want, but at least I'm doing something. Besides, I'm free to think whatever I want about you too...so be careful where you tread.

Yoga is an interesting form of exercise. Before I tried it...I thought it was for twenty somethings who wanted to buy cute workout clothes and go to the gym to be seen, but didnt really want to sweat...just "stretch" and say they worked out.

Have you ever been really wrong? Me too.

Yoga is no joke. Especially at my "size". That instructer would calmly say "warrior two" and my mind immediately thought, "yes, this is war...and I'm not winning!"

The girls I work with are really nice girls...they are grown women, they act as such, and I have no reason not to like them or to feel negatively toward them in any way. However, there was one moment when that instructor (Jenny is her name) would describe a pose and I literally laughed out loud, just in time for me to look around to see if anyone else thought it was as absurd as I did that she would even suggest that the human body could get into that position, and to find that they were already gracefully in the "backwards scissor" pose.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to clearly state that my body doesn't do "scissor" anything...much less backwards. For a split second I was so jealous of those girls.

Jealousy is such a terrible monster of a thing. It will come on when you dont expect or ask it to. Yes, there are times we choose to be jealous, but that is usually after the emotion has introduced itself, uninvited. I hate it, like it killed my family or something.

Jealousy robs us of our potential. We see someone else succeeding and jealousy creeps in and forces you to focus on what you don't have or can't do...so that you never realize you probably can... sometimes better.

Look, I might not be able to do the "backwards scissor" ... But I might. I didn't try. I was too busy moping about the fact that they could. How dumb.

I hope to go back to the class once I am in a better place financially, and then I will attempt that pose...at least then I'll have health insurance, you know, in case I need medical attention afterward.

Life is a constant battle. Jealousy is something I don't have time for if I want to win the war...

"What did she say? Oh, yeah....warrior three. Bring it on."

I know you missed me.

Well, Hi there! Long time no blog!

I really do hope you saw the notification that I had written a new blog and got as excited about it as I am to write it...although I doubt it.

Either way, here I am and here you are reading it...and that makes me happy.

Life has been...ummm life. We've all had those days where you're laying in the bed at the end of the day and you think to yourself, "If I had known all THAT was going to happen...I might have opted to not get out of bed this morning." But, that's how life is, a big roller coaster that you've never ridden before. I'm kinda happy it's like that though because all y'all know that as you get older you can't ride the same roller coaster 20 times like you did when you were a kid. You gotta change it up with a visit to the air conditioned ice skating show every once in a while or....well, you know.

Whatever... im old, ok?

Even though im glad life is not boring there is a little fact about me that a lot of people dont know. I HATE change. I'm not talking like "wow, change is just really hard for me." I'm talkin like I turn into a cranky monster of a woman when things in my life are unstable. I guess I can handle things like a new arrangement of furniture in my living room, or a different hair color now and then...but that's not the kind of change im talking about and its certainly not the kind of change I've experienced in the past 4 months.

In February I made a decision to start looking for a new job. It was a gut wrenching decision to make...trust me. I won't go into the details, I'll just say that I loved my job...and I argued with God and with myself for months over this decision.

If you've come out of your bedroom anytime in the last 5 years or so, you know this is NOT the time to leave your job if you have a good one....so, not only was I doing that...but I was banking on the hope that someone else had also done that recently, and therefore created a vacancy in which I was perfectly qualified. I basically bought a scratch-off ticket in the job market lottery.

Then, I kinda hit the jackpot. Not that I don't miss my old job or the people there...I miss them more than I can even put into words. But, when it comes to trade-offs...I did pretty good. I like the people, I like the atmosphere, it pays well, plenty of opportunity to grow. As a matter of fact, my boss has already told me, in fewer more vague words, that he eventually wants me to be a supervisor. Nice.

Something pretty fantastic has come from all of this, though. (Which is a plus because the 40 lbs I put on under all of this stress was pretty terrible) I have been forced to remember what it feels like to be TOTALLY and absolutely dependant on God for my next steps. It has been a while since I have been put in that position (one that I used to find myself in almost daily). What an interesting, terrifying, loving place to be.

I also started volunteering at a Women's shelter quite a few months back. As a matter of fact, I am sitting in the dining room at the house right now. I think all of the families must be out celebrating the Memorial Day weekend because it is almost silent here - which never happens. It's peaceful. To my left are 4 high chairs and Im thinking to myself how ironic that it is so quiet and peaceful right beside chairs that ... Im pretty sure babies consider forms of torture by the way they scream and pitch fits in them.

Anyway, lots of changes in my life lately. I am starting to feel that it is time to focus on my health again. I get caught up in life and my well-being goes on the back-burner. I do love the summer. It stays light later so I don't feel like all I do is work - I actually have time to get outside and enjoy the sunlight.

Next blog ... Ill tell you about a yoga class I recently tried to take at work. You won't want to miss it!

Have a great Memorial Day weekend!!! Thank you to all who have served our country and have given us the freedom to enjoy our families, grill hotdogs, and hug the ones we love. You are heroes and I honor you.

The Types of People You Find at the Gym

I am a people watcher.  Urban Dictionary's definition of People Watcher -  "1. People Watching:  A Hobby in which you go out and watch people. The way they act, dress, & talk. Like bird watching except with people. Very entertaining."  I have been known to spend my entire lunch break at the mall (which is conveniently located across the street from my office) sitting in the recliners that they have on display from the furniture company ... just watching people.  I'm not really sure why this fascinates me so much. Maybe it is because I have an active imagination that I don't really allow to run free very often. When I watch people - I let my mind wander.  I wonder what that person's life is like?  I wonder what his dreams were as a child?  I wonder how those two met?  I wonder if she looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the house? (JUST KIDDING..kinda)  Those kinds of things.  "Adrienne...that is terrible - why would you judge someone based solely on what they look like?"  I'M NOT! I realize that these are actual people and I'm not passing judgement on a fact that I have fabricated in my mind - I'm simply writing a fictional story, for myself only, about their lives - I am fully aware that I am totally wrong.  I would be fine if other people did the same thing to me - actually, I expect them to.  Also, if you know me - you know that I would never think mean things about someone - so I am not going to explain myself any further.  Back to the point. I am a people watcher - I do this any time I am at the mall, or at the grocery store ... but especially at the gym. However, when I am at the gym I am doing less "story telling" to myself and more of just watching their actual actions in their habitat (because at the gym you can watch people for a much longer period of time).  I have found that there are certain types of people you can find at the gym.  Here they are in no particular order:  1. Testosterones: These are people (mostly men but not always) who spend the most time in what I call the "Testosterone Zone" (The free-weight/bench press area of the gym). These people like to look at themselves in the mirrors (look...this is not a judgment - this is a statement of fact). These people grunt loudly... a lot - I don't think they notice it because their music is up so loud in their ipods. They strap themselves to machines (I'm not sure why this helps them but it terrifies me - I feel like one day the gym will catch on fire and all of the testosterones will be trapped because they can't get out of their velcro straps). I think that testosterones must be poor - If the testosterone is a female, most of the time she has forgotten some of her clothes somewhere. If they are male - all of their clothes are ripped (like the arms are ripped off or their pant legs are ripped off) Im not sure what testosterones have against fabric - but it is bothersome (I guess it is less to burn when they are stuck to the machines during that fire so ... makes sense)  2. Cardio Bunnies: These are (usually) girls that are ALWAYS on the treadmill or the eliptical machine. But - you can tell that they are different that just average people. They wear high ponytails (this is so that when they walk or run their hair swings back and forth like those cheerleaders I used to go to Junior High with). Bunnies like to wear "baby doll" t's and short sweat shorts. I think that bunnies have had their makeup tattooed on their faces cause there's no way my makeup would stay on like that when I'm sweating - or is it just that their sweat glands don't work? Im not sure which -but they always look like they have JUST gotten on the treadmill no matter how long they are on there. Bunnies always wear ear buds with long cords - because they like their cords to sway to a fro in the same rhythm as their pony tails.  3. Gym Dwellers: These are the people that are at the gym EVERY time I'm there. It doesn't matter if I go in the morning or at night - they are there. It's like they live there - I don't blame them. It's expensive to be a member at a gym - maybe they can't afford to rent a place and the gym really has everything that they need - TVs, Showers, etc. I mean - why leave? These people know all of the employee's names by heart. They walk in the gym and they start waving at people like they just entered their own birthday party. Dwellers don't seem to do much working out. They do a lot of socializing - mostly with the employees.  4. Newbies: I admire these people the most. You can tell that they haven't been in a gym in a while because it takes them a few minutes to figure the machines out. Newbies always make me smile - because I was a newbie once and I know that once they get the hang of it - they will never have to be a newbie again. I'm proud of them for getting out of the house and taking a step toward being a healthier person. I know that they are thinking that everyone is watching them and judging them - but if they really knew what people thought it would encourage them. Im not talking bout self-centered jerks who judge them and look down upon them - Im talking about they average people (the majority of the gym) who are just glad that they have made a step toward becoming a happier person.  You see - everyone has in their mind that if they go to the gym that everyone will be thinking bad things about them. It just isn't true.  I actually spend more time watching Testosterones than anyone else - they fascinate me.

"When my arms go above my head, I get dizzy."

Yesterday was a good first day back on my healthy lifestyle plan (now we have to be politically correct when we refer to "diets"...this is my verbiage of choice). I'm just kidding - I can honestly say that "diets" in the original sense of the word don't really work - it has to be something you chose to do for the rest of your life ... or else you just yo-yo diet ... kinda like me lately. I don't know why I think that I will do this for a set period of time and then once I reach that MAGIC number I can just go back to eating whatever crap I want and Ill look like Megan Fox. Wow...totally off subject now .. I digress. So, yesterday was a good first day back on my plan ;o) I stayed within my calorie range (but more importantly I felt satisfied with my food). It was beautiful and delicious and exactly what food should be. Don't believe me? Take a look at my dinner. Shut up! These were so easy!! I had some skewers just laying around from one BBQ I had like 4 years ago and I just cut up some peppers (all different colors just to make it pretty), chopped up some pineapple, and thawed out some shrimp. Layer them on the skewers and grill them for a few minutes on the good ole' George Foreman (if you don't have one of these...INVEST - it's so worth it!! - but get the ones that have the removable plates so that you can just throw them in the dish washer!) Seasoned with just a dash of Tony's for spice and Old Bay Seasoning. I then made up some seasoned wild rice and - WALA! (I have no idea if that is how that expression is spelled!) I ate 2 Kabobs and 1/2 of the rice - the rest is my lunch today!! Then last night at the gym I was minding my own business on the treadmill when a trainer walked up and said, "I am doing a new "weight loss cardio" class on the treadmills if you would like to try it out." These classes are called "teasers" - my gym does them so that you can try out the classes they offer that are "fee based" - that just means that you have to pay more for them than what is offered in your regular gym membership. I always take the "teasers" because it is a change-up to my workout - It's personal training for free - and they offer them all the time. SURE... why not! It was me and two other ladies. 6 months ago - I would have SMOKED these girls. Showed them who's boss. Last night...not so much. They were both at least 10 years older than me and all I could think about the whole time is that 6 months ago I would have made them look like amateurs. Well - it's not 6 months ago. It's now and I had to face the facts. I felt like death, walking up-hill at an 8 incline when 6 months ago I was running 5ks. At one point the trainer asked us to pick up hand weights and walk at an incline while raising the weights above our heads. I actually said the words, "When my arms go above my head, I get dizzy." Which is a true statement. (This is a sign that you don't have good blood pressure, by the way.) However, saying it in that moment felt so humiliating. What am I saying??? I am a machine! I am a runner! I conquer! Don't underestimate me!! "When my arms go over my head, I get dizzy"????????? This is where 6 months of not doing squat (literally) has gotten me. I picked up those hand weights and I walked and I lifted and I pushed through it. What does that make me now? 6 months later? Does that make me a failure because I doubted? Because I'm not where I was 6 months ago? No! It makes me a machine! It makes me a conquerer! I did it anyway - even though I hated every second. That is what it is going to take for me to get back to where I was 6 months ago. If that is what it takes then that is what I will do. Anyway - that was my day. It was a pretty good first day back.

He will give you the desires...

2012 "Evolutions"
1.  Get below (blank) lbs.
2.  Save $(blank)
3.  Take better care of my skin
4.  Take better care of my nails
5.  Read through the New Testament

Bucketlist
1.  Wear a size (blank) jeans
2.  Get my nose pierced
3.  Take a vacation
4.  Read 2 books (not including the bible)
5.  Beat my 5k time
6.  Climb a rock wall
7.  Do 10 pull ups

Maybe "resolutions" aren't your thing.  To be honest - up until last year they weren't my "thing" either.  Mostly because I held myself up to a standard that I could never actually live up to.  That lead to disappointment in myself and instead of setting realistic goals that I could live up to - I stopped setting goals all together.

Not setting goals meant that I usually wasn't trying to improve myself at all.  I'm not really sure how I expected to grow as a person or in the Lord without any aspirations to do so - maybe I thought that God would just change me.  And though I believe that God can do that - I'm learning that (at least for me) He doesn't normally operate that way.

My scripture for the year is Psalm 37:4 - "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."  This doesn't mean that God will give you whatever you want.  No... no ... no.

This means that God will put HIS desires in my heart.  I believe that when I follow the Lord and "delight" myself in His Word and Will for my life - I will have His desires for me.  That means more than just spiritual things.  Did you know that God cares about everything you care about?  God cares about my nails, He cares that I am proud of my skin, He cares that I respect my finances.  God cares about whether or not I am healthy.

How do I know that He cares?  Because I care - and God has put his desires in my heart.

I know I don't normally talk about spiritual things in my blogs - but this is part of my journey (a huge part).  When you realize that your goals and your dreams were placed there by the Lord  - they become more than just resolutions - they become evolutions ... desires that change you from the inside out.

So I encourage you (if you haven't already done so) - take the beginning of this year and ask the Lord ... "What are your desires?  What are my desires?"  Write them down so that you can refer to them later... delight yourself and encourage yourself in the Lord.

He will give you His desires!