So, I promised a story.
My new workplace has a gym. It's pretty great that I could get out of my monthly gym membership...I've been working out there before work. They also offer a yoga class on Wednesdays at lunch, which I thought was free...I was wrong.
So, I attended 3 classes before discovering that I had to pay. The class itself was good, hard, but good and I liked it. Except the part where my co-workers are there with me. Now, I've never really cared much about people watching me workout. You can judge me all you want, but at least I'm doing something. Besides, I'm free to think whatever I want about you too...so be careful where you tread.
Yoga is an interesting form of exercise. Before I tried it...I thought it was for twenty somethings who wanted to buy cute workout clothes and go to the gym to be seen, but didnt really want to sweat...just "stretch" and say they worked out.
Have you ever been really wrong? Me too.
Yoga is no joke. Especially at my "size". That instructer would calmly say "warrior two" and my mind immediately thought, "yes, this is war...and I'm not winning!"
The girls I work with are really nice girls...they are grown women, they act as such, and I have no reason not to like them or to feel negatively toward them in any way. However, there was one moment when that instructor (Jenny is her name) would describe a pose and I literally laughed out loud, just in time for me to look around to see if anyone else thought it was as absurd as I did that she would even suggest that the human body could get into that position, and to find that they were already gracefully in the "backwards scissor" pose.
I don't know about you, but I'd like to clearly state that my body doesn't do "scissor" anything...much less backwards. For a split second I was so jealous of those girls.
Jealousy is such a terrible monster of a thing. It will come on when you dont expect or ask it to. Yes, there are times we choose to be jealous, but that is usually after the emotion has introduced itself, uninvited. I hate it, like it killed my family or something.
Jealousy robs us of our potential. We see someone else succeeding and jealousy creeps in and forces you to focus on what you don't have or can't do...so that you never realize you probably can... sometimes better.
Look, I might not be able to do the "backwards scissor" ... But I might. I didn't try. I was too busy moping about the fact that they could. How dumb.
I hope to go back to the class once I am in a better place financially, and then I will attempt that pose...at least then I'll have health insurance, you know, in case I need medical attention afterward.
Life is a constant battle. Jealousy is something I don't have time for if I want to win the war...
"What did she say? Oh, yeah....warrior three. Bring it on."