"When my arms go above my head, I get dizzy."

Yesterday was a good first day back on my healthy lifestyle plan (now we have to be politically correct when we refer to "diets"...this is my verbiage of choice). I'm just kidding - I can honestly say that "diets" in the original sense of the word don't really work - it has to be something you chose to do for the rest of your life ... or else you just yo-yo diet ... kinda like me lately. I don't know why I think that I will do this for a set period of time and then once I reach that MAGIC number I can just go back to eating whatever crap I want and Ill look like Megan Fox. Wow...totally off subject now .. I digress. So, yesterday was a good first day back on my plan ;o) I stayed within my calorie range (but more importantly I felt satisfied with my food). It was beautiful and delicious and exactly what food should be. Don't believe me? Take a look at my dinner. Shut up! These were so easy!! I had some skewers just laying around from one BBQ I had like 4 years ago and I just cut up some peppers (all different colors just to make it pretty), chopped up some pineapple, and thawed out some shrimp. Layer them on the skewers and grill them for a few minutes on the good ole' George Foreman (if you don't have one of these...INVEST - it's so worth it!! - but get the ones that have the removable plates so that you can just throw them in the dish washer!) Seasoned with just a dash of Tony's for spice and Old Bay Seasoning. I then made up some seasoned wild rice and - WALA! (I have no idea if that is how that expression is spelled!) I ate 2 Kabobs and 1/2 of the rice - the rest is my lunch today!! Then last night at the gym I was minding my own business on the treadmill when a trainer walked up and said, "I am doing a new "weight loss cardio" class on the treadmills if you would like to try it out." These classes are called "teasers" - my gym does them so that you can try out the classes they offer that are "fee based" - that just means that you have to pay more for them than what is offered in your regular gym membership. I always take the "teasers" because it is a change-up to my workout - It's personal training for free - and they offer them all the time. SURE... why not! It was me and two other ladies. 6 months ago - I would have SMOKED these girls. Showed them who's boss. Last night...not so much. They were both at least 10 years older than me and all I could think about the whole time is that 6 months ago I would have made them look like amateurs. Well - it's not 6 months ago. It's now and I had to face the facts. I felt like death, walking up-hill at an 8 incline when 6 months ago I was running 5ks. At one point the trainer asked us to pick up hand weights and walk at an incline while raising the weights above our heads. I actually said the words, "When my arms go above my head, I get dizzy." Which is a true statement. (This is a sign that you don't have good blood pressure, by the way.) However, saying it in that moment felt so humiliating. What am I saying??? I am a machine! I am a runner! I conquer! Don't underestimate me!! "When my arms go over my head, I get dizzy"????????? This is where 6 months of not doing squat (literally) has gotten me. I picked up those hand weights and I walked and I lifted and I pushed through it. What does that make me now? 6 months later? Does that make me a failure because I doubted? Because I'm not where I was 6 months ago? No! It makes me a machine! It makes me a conquerer! I did it anyway - even though I hated every second. That is what it is going to take for me to get back to where I was 6 months ago. If that is what it takes then that is what I will do. Anyway - that was my day. It was a pretty good first day back.