**Note from the author - It would enhance your experience during the reading of this blog if you go to youtube and search for "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys and listen to it while reading!**
Go ahead - find the video ... Just do it - I have a point to make ... I'll wait for you to come back....
Got it started? Ok, here we go:
So, I am frustrated. (What's new right?)
I have made great strides in many areas of my life - running the 5k and completing the C25K program, losing almost 60 lbs (twice), getting my finances under control. I am trying my best to focus on those accomplishments and NOT on the number on the scale. But it's always there - that scale - that number. No matter what you say - it matters to you. It matters to me ... it is a measurement, it tells the truth, and it is totally un-relenting!
(BTW - are you annoyed at the music yet? Is it frustrating to try to read this blog with that music in your ear? That feeling of frustration and anxiety you feel is exactly how I feel when I think about the scale. You can now stop the youtube video and continue to read in silence :o)
Why did I chose that song? Well, first of all - I think that is one of the best anxiety producing songs that was ever recorded! Secondly, the reason for my scale battle is one thing and one thing only.
It's not something that I do consciously. I mean, who would totally derail all of the hard work that they put in during the entire course of a week - just to blow it on the weekends (on purpose???) No, no one would do that. But that is exactly what I am doing (without the "on purpose part")
This is me every Friday Morning:
This is me every Monday Morning:
We like to blame the scale. We like to call it names, kick it across the bathroom floor, move it to another place on the floor and get back on because maybe it was "uneven". (Don't get all self-righteous on me here - you know you allllll do it!)
No matter how much you want to blame the scale. The scale is just a reflection of YOUR choices.
Yes, that's right - I said it ... out loud. (well, kinda) There are consequences for your food and exercise choices. And guess who pays for those choices on the scale (whether you hate it or love it) - YOU DO. It's not the scales fault. You can kick it, you can call it names, you can even try to manipulate it - but it doesn't change the truth. You did this to yourself.
Until you can start to take responsibility for your actions (or lack thereof) - nothing will change.
So.... NOTE TO SELF (and anyone else who wants to listen) - Blaming other people or circumstances or your environment or fast-food joints or your genes or the fact that it is the weekend and you should be able to slack off on the weekend - gets you no where. So, stop sabotaging yourself and take responsibility for your weekends, Adrienne. Just because the calendar says "Friday" or "Saturday" or "Sunday" does not mean that you can shove whatever you want to in your mouth and you won't see it on the scale when the calendar says "Monday". What did you expect???
There. I got that out. That was kinda like turning off the youtube music. Once you can take responsibility for your choices then the frustration and anxiety about the scale will dissipate. Once responsibility is owned - change can happen.
PS.... Please don't leave comments and tell me that I need to "not be so hard on myself" - sometimes you need a swift kick in the batutie. That is what I am giving myself because I can not continue to "not be so hard on myself" if I want to accomplish my goals.
Also - PLEASE don't tell me that I shouldn't weigh myself everyday. It is my personal preference and you will not change my mind ;o) Thank you!