The Types of People You Find at the Gym

I am a people watcher.  Urban Dictionary's definition of People Watcher -  "1. People Watching:  A Hobby in which you go out and watch people. The way they act, dress, & talk. Like bird watching except with people. Very entertaining."  I have been known to spend my entire lunch break at the mall (which is conveniently located across the street from my office) sitting in the recliners that they have on display from the furniture company ... just watching people.  I'm not really sure why this fascinates me so much. Maybe it is because I have an active imagination that I don't really allow to run free very often. When I watch people - I let my mind wander.  I wonder what that person's life is like?  I wonder what his dreams were as a child?  I wonder how those two met?  I wonder if she looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the house? (JUST KIDDING..kinda)  Those kinds of things.  "Adrienne...that is terrible - why would you judge someone based solely on what they look like?"  I'M NOT! I realize that these are actual people and I'm not passing judgement on a fact that I have fabricated in my mind - I'm simply writing a fictional story, for myself only, about their lives - I am fully aware that I am totally wrong.  I would be fine if other people did the same thing to me - actually, I expect them to.  Also, if you know me - you know that I would never think mean things about someone - so I am not going to explain myself any further.  Back to the point. I am a people watcher - I do this any time I am at the mall, or at the grocery store ... but especially at the gym. However, when I am at the gym I am doing less "story telling" to myself and more of just watching their actual actions in their habitat (because at the gym you can watch people for a much longer period of time).  I have found that there are certain types of people you can find at the gym.  Here they are in no particular order:  1. Testosterones: These are people (mostly men but not always) who spend the most time in what I call the "Testosterone Zone" (The free-weight/bench press area of the gym). These people like to look at themselves in the mirrors (look...this is not a judgment - this is a statement of fact). These people grunt loudly... a lot - I don't think they notice it because their music is up so loud in their ipods. They strap themselves to machines (I'm not sure why this helps them but it terrifies me - I feel like one day the gym will catch on fire and all of the testosterones will be trapped because they can't get out of their velcro straps). I think that testosterones must be poor - If the testosterone is a female, most of the time she has forgotten some of her clothes somewhere. If they are male - all of their clothes are ripped (like the arms are ripped off or their pant legs are ripped off) Im not sure what testosterones have against fabric - but it is bothersome (I guess it is less to burn when they are stuck to the machines during that fire so ... makes sense)  2. Cardio Bunnies: These are (usually) girls that are ALWAYS on the treadmill or the eliptical machine. But - you can tell that they are different that just average people. They wear high ponytails (this is so that when they walk or run their hair swings back and forth like those cheerleaders I used to go to Junior High with). Bunnies like to wear "baby doll" t's and short sweat shorts. I think that bunnies have had their makeup tattooed on their faces cause there's no way my makeup would stay on like that when I'm sweating - or is it just that their sweat glands don't work? Im not sure which -but they always look like they have JUST gotten on the treadmill no matter how long they are on there. Bunnies always wear ear buds with long cords - because they like their cords to sway to a fro in the same rhythm as their pony tails.  3. Gym Dwellers: These are the people that are at the gym EVERY time I'm there. It doesn't matter if I go in the morning or at night - they are there. It's like they live there - I don't blame them. It's expensive to be a member at a gym - maybe they can't afford to rent a place and the gym really has everything that they need - TVs, Showers, etc. I mean - why leave? These people know all of the employee's names by heart. They walk in the gym and they start waving at people like they just entered their own birthday party. Dwellers don't seem to do much working out. They do a lot of socializing - mostly with the employees.  4. Newbies: I admire these people the most. You can tell that they haven't been in a gym in a while because it takes them a few minutes to figure the machines out. Newbies always make me smile - because I was a newbie once and I know that once they get the hang of it - they will never have to be a newbie again. I'm proud of them for getting out of the house and taking a step toward being a healthier person. I know that they are thinking that everyone is watching them and judging them - but if they really knew what people thought it would encourage them. Im not talking bout self-centered jerks who judge them and look down upon them - Im talking about they average people (the majority of the gym) who are just glad that they have made a step toward becoming a happier person.  You see - everyone has in their mind that if they go to the gym that everyone will be thinking bad things about them. It just isn't true.  I actually spend more time watching Testosterones than anyone else - they fascinate me.